---
title:    I Am Not a Fox
unlisted: true
---

I am not a fox.
It would be ridiculous to claim otherwise since a fox wouldn't be able to type on a keyboard, not to mention come up with this text in the first place.
A fox probably couldn't have a job as a software developer, too.
But despite reality leaving no room for doubt, my existence as a human never felt right to me.

It began one evening when I was about 6 years old.
I was watching "The Sword in the Stone" by Disney, an animated film about a boy called Arthur who is transformed into various animals by Merlin the wizard in order to educate him.
The idea of possessing a nonhuman body fascinated me immediately, especially that of a bird.
What would it feel like to experience and interact with the world, to be covered in feathers that are bristling in the wind as I'm flying through the sky?
As I imagined myself in this situation, something inside of my mind awakened; something that rejected my humanity and longed for something else.
Driven by this strange desire, imagining I was a bird became a frequent activity.

When I was 13, dragons took the place of birds after I got introduced to fantasy novels; 4 years later it was wolves, and shortly after foxes.
During this time, I had started to question my experience and was looking for answers.
I theorized I had the soul of a dragon, stumbled across the furry fandom, and learned about the existence of otherkins and therians.
I never talked with anyone about it, though.