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---
title: I Am Not a Fox
unlisted: true
---
As a child, I spent a lot of time imagining what being a bird would be like.
How would it feel to experience and interact with the world through such a completely different body?
To have the ability to fly and feel my feathers bristling in the wind as I'm flying through the sky?
To be treated and perceived by other creatures not as a human but as a bird?
This fascination was sparked when I was 6 years old.
I was watching "The Sword in the Stone" by Disney, an animated film about a boy called Arthur who is transformed into various animals by Merlin the wizard in order to teach him different things about life.
One of these transformation involves Arthur being turned into a yellow sparrow.
The idea of possessing a nonhuman body fascinated me immediately, especially that of a bird.
What would it feel like to experience and interact with the world, to be covered in feathers that are bristling in the wind as I'm flying through the sky?
As I imagined myself in this situation, something inside of my mind awakened; something that rejected my humanity and longed for the life I was supposed to have.
I didn't lose sight of the fact that I was a human, but I started to imagine what being a bird would be like frequently.
Nothing exciting happened for a while, until I got introduced to fantasy novels 7 years later and felt I was supposed to be a dragon.
By then, I had
I had realized by then that my experience was far from normal and I finally decided to do research on the internet, where I stumbled across the furry fandom and found therians.
Therians are individuals who believe they are an animal on some level, either spiritually -- such as past lives or souls -- or psychologically.
It sounds like the perfect answer to my question, but after looking into them it didn't resonate with me.
I am not a fox.
It would be ridiculous to claim otherwise.
A fox wouldn't be able to type on a keyboard, not to mention come up with this text in the first place.
A fox couldn't have a job as a software developer.
A fox wouldn't look in the mirror and see a human.
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