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---
title: I Am Not a Fox
unlisted: true
---
I am not a fox.
It would be ridiculous to claim otherwise since a fox wouldn't be able to type on a keyboard, not to mention come up with this text in the first place.
A fox probably couldn't have a job as a software developer, too.
But despite reality leaving no room for doubt, my existence as a human never felt right to me.
It began one evening when I was about 6 years old.
I was watching "The Sword in the Stone" by Disney, an animated film about a boy called Arthur who is transformed into various animals by Merlin the wizard in order to educate him.
The idea of possessing a nonhuman body fascinated me immediately, especially that of a bird.
What would it feel like to have such a completely different body, to have a beak and wings and to be covered in feathers that are bristling in the wind as I'm flying through the sky?
As I imagined myself in this situation, something inside of my mind awakened; something that rejected my human body and longed for the right one; something that would never leave me alone again.
Driven by this desire, I started to fantasize about being a bird frequently.
It was like a spiritual activity, something I fully concentrated on when I had time for myself so I could make this fantasy as realistic as possible.
For many years I frequently fantasized about being a bird, then a dragon, very briefly a wolf, and finally a fox.
By that time I was 18 years old and
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