content/9thPK7O3xn/posts/i-am-not-a-fox.md


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---
title:    I Am Not a Fox
unlisted: true
---

I am not a fox.
It would be ridiculous to claim otherwise since a fox wouldn't be able to type on a keyboard, not to mention come up with this text in the first place.
A fox probably couldn't have a job as a software developer, too.
But despite reality being quite obvious, my existence as a human being doesn't feel right to me.
It never has.

I was 6 years old when I first became aware that something was off.
I'm sure many of you have seen the movie "The Sword in the Stone" by Disney, wherein the protagonist Arthur is transformed into various animals to learn different life lessons.
I was watching this movie one evening and became fascinated by the idea of possessing a nonhuman body, especially that of a bird.
What would it be like to experience the world as one?
To be covered in feathers that are bristling in the wind as I'm flying through the air?
Imagining myself in this situation felt right.
It was as if a constant nagging at the back of my mind, which I hadn't noticed before, was gone for the first time.