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authorVolpeon <git@volpeon.ink>2021-11-28 21:30:22 +0100
committerVolpeon <git@volpeon.ink>2021-11-28 21:30:22 +0100
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6I am not a fox. 6I am not a fox.
7It would be ridiculous to claim otherwise since a fox wouldn't be able to type on a keyboard, not to mention come up with this text in the first place. 7It would be ridiculous to claim otherwise since a fox wouldn't be able to type on a keyboard, not to mention come up with this text in the first place.
8A fox probably couldn't have a job as a software developer, too. 8A fox probably couldn't have a job as a software developer, too.
9But despite reality leaving no room for doubt, my existence as a human never felt right to me. 9But despite reality leaving no room for doubt, my existence as a human doesn't feel right to me.
10 10
11It began one evening when I was about 6 years old. 11It began one evening when I was about 6 years old.
12I was watching "The Sword in the Stone" by Disney, an animated film about a boy called Arthur who is transformed into various animals by Merlin the wizard in order to educate him. 12I was watching "The Sword in the Stone" by Disney, an animated film about a boy called Arthur who is transformed into various animals by Merlin the wizard in order to educate him.
13The idea of possessing a nonhuman body fascinated me immediately, especially that of a bird. 13The idea of possessing a nonhuman body fascinated me immediately, especially that of a bird.
14What would it feel like to experience and interact with the world, to be covered in feathers that are bristling in the wind as I'm flying through the sky? 14What would it feel like to experience and interact with the world, to be covered in feathers that are bristling in the wind as I'm flying through the sky?
15As I imagined myself in this situation, something inside of my mind awakened; something that rejected my humanity and longed for the life I was supposed to have. 15As I imagined myself in this situation, something inside of my mind awakened; something that rejected my humanity and longed for the life I was supposed to have.
16Driven by this strange desire, imagining I was a bird became a frequent activity. 16I didn't lose sight of the fact that I was a human, but I started to imagine what being a bird would be like frequently.
17 17
18When I was 13 years old, dragons took the place of birds after I got introduced to fantasy novels; 4 years later it was wolves, and shortly after foxes. 18And that's how things were for 7 years, until I got introduced to fantasy novels.
19Somewhere along the way, I had realized that my experience was far from normal and I finally started to look for answers. 19I became obsessed with dragons and they quickly took over the role of birds for me.
20What was this persistent feeling in the back of my mind that made me think I was supposed to be an animal? 204 years later it was wolves, and shortly after foxes.
21During this time, I had slowly realized that my experience was anything but usual and started looking for answers.
22Why did I think I was supposed to be an animal?
21Were there other people like me? 23Were there other people like me?
22I did a lot of introspection, theorized I had the soul of a dragon, stumbled across the [furry fandom], and learned about the existence of [otherkins] and [therians]. 24I did a lot of research on the internet, stumbled across the furry fandom, and found therians.
23 25
24 26Therians are individuals who believe they are an animal on some level, either spiritually -- such as past lives or souls -- or psychologically.
25 27It sounds like the perfect answer to my question, but after my initial research into therians I
26[furry fandom]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom
27[otherkins]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otherkin
28[therians]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therianthropy